Thursday, May 24, 2012

Decision/ Opportunity

   It seems to me that things keep sneaking up on us.  Why these things always seem to tug at my heart?  I can answer my own question...because I am a Mama and that automatically comes with it.  Or either I am just very sensitive, this I already know.  For the past 3 months, myself and Robbie have had to decide something that could change Aiden's school life for the better or not.  Nothing is final, but it is still scary.  The principal at Aiden's school came to us with this......through the Board of DD (developmental disabilities) they have a program that is based out of the Wausean Schools.  She did not come at us in a negative way at all, but very positive that Aiden would thrive there.  Myself, Robbie and Aiden's Aide Sue went to visit the school, and as it was nice, it was eye opening.  Please don't think bad of me, but I had to walk out as I started to cry.  It was  a lot to take in.  What freaked me out was " is Aiden gonna stick out like a sore thumb? "  Maybe..maybe not, it's something that we won't know until we try.  The not knowing is what scares me the most. 
    It is amazing to me how things change once you are a parent.  This child that you made and just want things to come easy for, now has all these struggles in life, that you can't fix.  When they were little it was as simple as kissing a boo boo, but there are some things that we can't fix with a kiss.  We can't kiss his brain and make his Epilepsy go away, we can't kiss his muscles to make them not hurt or be sore, or kiss them and make his Muscular Dystrophy go away.  All we can do is be the BEST parents we can be and learn as we go, because isn't that what life is about...learning and of course love.  I ask myself everyday......gosh probably every minute   " what more can we do, are we doing what's best ? "
   So, back to what I was talking about.  We have decided to send Aiden to Wausean.  Even though we are scared, we think this will be where he flourishes.  The program is very individualized.  Instead of him being totally mainstreamed with a few pull-outs, it will be him in a class that is very calm and individualized with regular-ed pull-outs. They will focus on how Aiden learns and go from that....Finally.  The class goes to the grocery store every other week and that is how they teach math.  He will get to shop and find aisles.  How fun is that??!!  
    Right now Aiden is being taught things that he will not need to function in adult life.  This program will teach him the things he needs, even though we will always be here teaching him too.  We know that Aiden learns hands-on and at this school, that is exactly what he will be doing.  Are you wondering the same thing as us " what if we hate it, can he come back to Swanton? "  The answer is yes.  Trust me, this was NOT an easy decision, we have been thinking about it for over 3 months.  I have done my fair share of crying over it.  Just when you think things are slowing down for decision making...BOOM!! another is thrown at you.  We will not know how it will work out, but we are leaning towards "good ".  One of the things that hurts the most is loosing his Aide Sue.

Now I know we are not gonna loose her for life, just as his Aide.  She is Amazing with him, they just mesh well, they are like two peas in a pod.  We need more people like her in this world.  Thank you for being you Sue <3.  You will always be a part of our family.
   This has been very, very difficult for us and anyone who has been my listening ear...thank you so much, it has truly meant a lot to me.  Wish us luck on this journey <3