Having Some FUN!!

Color the items you have done:
1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain 
9. Held a Praying Mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Been to the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa at the Louvre
20. Slept on a train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort - (well. i tried.)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run ( when I was younger )
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing - (on a rock wall.)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater...LOVE these
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen - when I was a senior in High School
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got Flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar - (ew. sick.)
72. Sewn a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a Bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - (well. a fish.)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby x's 2 <3
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Visited Italy
  * I would LOVE to hear from you about things you have done:)

Just some things about ME!!!

So I am reading someones blog and I stumbled on this one. I am going to delete her answers and put my own..I just love these things:)

I am:  A Mama / Wife / Baker

I think:  Socks and sandles are goofy

I know: I LOVE to laugh

I want: My boys to grow up to be beautiful human beings

I have: A Crazzy LOVE for dark chocolate

I wish: More people knew about my Company CoCo's Truffles

I hate: Dirty dish water

I miss: My sisters

I fear: Something happening to the ones I love the most

I feel: Hot and sticky

I hear: The vent fan to the oven, my youngest son laughing, asking where the mopper is

I smell: Chicken and french fries

I crave: Dark chocolate

I search: For the moon at night

I wonder: Who the girl's my son's will marry some day

I regret: Not being an exerciser..I know I can do it:)

I love: Robbie, Noah, Aiden and lot's of other people

I care: About other people

I always: HAVE to tell my boys I love them before I go to bed, even though they are sleeping, if I don't and get comfy...I get up and tell them or I can't fall asleep

I am not: Good with getting my blood drawn..I hate it

I believe: There is a love out there for everyone

I dance: Every time I hear music..I can't help it

I sing: Really loud

I don’t always: Not cuss

I write: For memories

I win:  At arm wrestling with my sister Erin ;P

I never lose: My tooth brush

I listen: To anyone who wants to just talk

I can usually be found: Reading books or magazines

I am scared: Of my kids dieing before me...I truly couldn't handle that

I need: More money, don't we all

I am happy about: My life in general <3

A Sad..Sad Day

   At 4:12 pm today, we lost an Amazing man.  This would be our Uncle Lenny.  He lost his battle to Cancer.  It makes me ask the question....do we live just to watch our loved ones die?  Why can't it be easier then?  No..we LIVE, so we have the chance to LOVE, and no matter how hard it is at least we have that..."LOVE ".  Uncle Lenny did sooo much for people and didn't think anything of it.  Aunt Barb had the privilege to LOVE him and him her <3.  I can't help but to compare the love that me and Robbie share to theirs.  They truly loved each other with their whole being, they NEVER talked bad to each other, yes they may have had their differences, but don't we all......
   I can't even begin to imagine the pain that Aunt Barb is feeling right now, I wish I could take it away.  They were able to share 36 Beautiful years together, but I know in my heart they deserved more.  I wish that they were able to be 90 yrs old and sitting on that new porch that just got built sipping on coffee and making each other laugh.  Aunt Barb whenever you feel a cool breeze or see a rainbow, I want you to think of Uncle Lenny and know that he is smiling down at you and still LOVING you.

   We wish we could be there to help heal your heart, but we know only time can do that.  It will get easier I promise..you will ALWAYS have him in spirit and hold onto that love forever as I know you will.  Nobody can take that from you.
   As I said above....he is lost but NEVER forgotten <3...We love you Uncle Lenny and thanks for everything you have given...your LOVE the most important.

Decision/ Opportunity

   It seems to me that things keep sneaking up on us.  Why these things always seem to tug at my heart?  I can answer my own question...because I am a Mama and that automatically comes with it.  Or either I am just very sensitive, this I already know.  For the past 3 months, myself and Robbie have had to decide something that could change Aiden's school life for the better or not.  Nothing is final, but it is still scary.  The principal at Aiden's school came to us with this......through the Board of DD (developmental disabilities) they have a program that is based out of the Wausean Schools.  She did not come at us in a negative way at all, but very positive that Aiden would thrive there.  Myself, Robbie and Aiden's Aide Sue went to visit the school, and as it was nice, it was eye opening.  Please don't think bad of me, but I had to walk out as I started to cry.  It was  a lot to take in.  What freaked me out was " is Aiden gonna stick out like a sore thumb? "  Maybe..maybe not, it's something that we won't know until we try.  The not knowing is what scares me the most. 

    It is amazing to me how things change once you are a parent.  This child that you made and just want things to come easy for, now has all these struggles in life, that you can't fix.  When they were little it was as simple as kissing a boo boo, but there are some things that we can't fix with a kiss.  We can't kiss his brain and make his Epilepsy go away, we can't kiss his muscles to make them not hurt or be sore, or kiss them and make his Muscular Dystrophy go away.  All we can do is be the BEST parents we can be and learn as we go, because isn't that what life is about...learning and of course love.  I ask myself everyday......gosh probably every minute   " what more can we do, are we doing what's best ? "

   So, back to what I was talking about.  We have decided to send Aiden to Wausean.  Even though we are scared, we think this will be where he flourishes.  The program is very individualized.  Instead of him being totally mainstreamed with a few pull-outs, it will be him in a class that is very calm and individualized with regular-ed pull-outs. They will focus on how Aiden learns and go from that....Finally.  The class goes to the grocery store every other week and that is how they teach math.  He will get to shop and find aisles.  How fun is that??!!  

    Right now Aiden is being taught things that he will not need to function in adult life.  This program will teach him the things he needs, even though we will always be here teaching him too.  We know that Aiden learns hands-on and at this school, that is exactly what he will be doing.  Are you wondering the same thing as us " what if we hate it, can he come back to Swanton? "  The answer is yes.  Trust me, this was NOT an easy decision, we have been thinking about it for over 3 months.  I have done my fair share of crying over it.  Just when you think things are slowing down for decision making...BOOM!! another is thrown at you.  We will not know how it will work out, but we are leaning towards "good ".  One of the things that hurts the most is loosing his Aide Sue.

Now I know we are not gonna loose her for life, just as his Aide.  She is Amazing with him, they just mesh well, they are like two peas in a pod.  We need more people like her in this world.  Thank you for being you Sue <3.  You will always be a part of our family.

   This has been very, very difficult for us and anyone who has been my listening ear...thank you so much, it has truly meant a lot to me.  Wish us luck on this journey <3

My Heart is Tugging

Monday...January 23rd, 2012

I had just dropped Aiden off at school at 10:10, he had speech therapy that morning.  At 10:40..Robbie brought me my phone and said someone had called it.  I checked and it was Park Elementary ( Aiden's School ).  I didn't listen to the message, I just called them back.  Already having a feeling of what happened.  I spoke to the nurse and as she is telling me what happened, my worst fears are coming to light.  She told me that Aiden's Aide ( Sue ) had been trying to get Aiden's attention and she couldn't.  He kept staring off...wayyy different than his usual.  She proceeded to wave her hands around in front of his face saying his name over and over.  She then picked up his chair with him in it and turned it to face her, trying to get him to focus on her.  Sue yelled for the Teacher to tell her what time it was, she wanted to time this.  All of a sudden Aiden's eyes got BIG and he looked right at Sue and she asked him "are you ok Buddy?"  He lunged at her and started crying really hard..burying his  face in her arm.  Sue and his teacher both thought he looked really pale, so Sue took him down to the office and they gave him some crackers and juice.  Everything seemed to be fine, so they started to walk back to the classroom, when Aiden looked at Sue and said " Mrs. Smith, my hand won't stop shaking ".  She tried to hold it to get it to stop, but it wouldn't.  They then went back to the office...Sue was worried something else would happen and she didn't want to be alone in the hallway if it did.  It stopped and that's when they called me.  It's crazy how fast things can change.  I told the nurse at the school that I was gonna call his primary doctor and I would call them back.  Aiden was back in class at this point, but I was FREAKING!!!  I called the doctors and tried my damnedest NOT to cry while on the phone.  She told me to call his Neurologist because it sounded neurological.  This isn't happening.....long story a little short..Doctor was not in and nurses weren't either.  I looked at Robbie and said "let's go pick up Aiden".  We kept thinking....seizure, but maybe his sugar was low.  We don't know..we are not Doctors.  Five hours later, I get a call back from the neurologist office telling us to UP his Trileptal to 5ml in a.m and 5ml in p.m.  Ok............soooooo is the neurologist thinking this has to do with his Epilepsy?..does he think he had a seizure? are you sure it wasn't his sugar?  Come ON!!!!  That is all she was gonna tell me.."up his Trileptal"  SERIOUSLY!!!!  She had to put me on hold and go ask the Doctor all the questions...SERIOUSLY!!!  He said yes, it was his epilepsy and IF it was his sugar there would have been more symptoms with it.  The hand shaking has to do with the seizure.  Soooo....he had a seizure at school.  It lasted about a minute..minute in half.  My baby LOST time and that is probably why he started crying.  I could only imagine how scared he was when he came to.  Does the Doctor want to see us you ask...nope, not till our appt. March 14th.  Nice isn't it.  We are thinking....he has been on 4ml in morning and night since August 1st, 2011.  He most likely went through a growth spurt and the 4ml wasn't cutting it.  At least it wasn't like the other two.  This little boy sure is working my heart.  Our hearts...

 

2011

So this year has brought Us tears, laughter, family, new friends, old friends, LOTS of Dr.'s and more tears. Can I say this has been one of the most challenging years of my life? Yes, Yes I could.  I know we are given what we can handle, but sometimes I feel we are tested beyond what we think we could possibly ever think we could do.  And this year my friends...WE were tested and ya know what....WE did it, or at least I think we have.

  I have made friends and became close to them so fast that I would begin to think...we were meant to meet. There has been a friend that has been there for me more times than I can say these past couple of years and she took the time on her lunch break to come to the hospital when Aiden had his first seizure and she stayed for almost 3 hours.  She will never truly know just how much that meant to me.

 
  Other friends and family called and wished us well and they are just as important to me as everyone else.  Please don't think I will ever forget you guys and the love you shared and continue to share.  We also had a great friend who, when she found out, she met us at the hospital with food, drinks, and other stuff we would need. I love you Bunches!

 
I honestly don't know if we could have gotten through this without ALL of you.  For this we are Thankful each and every day that we have such Amazing people in our lives. To Richard and Ina....I was given such AWESOME in-laws.  You are like another set of parents to me and our boys.  I love you so  much.

  The one thing that I wish I had here...is my sisters ( Kristin and Erin ).  You know how I feel, so I won't share it on here for everyone to read.  We are connected and close more than people would know...this I am grateful for.

So here is to 2012...whatever it may bring us, I know we will get through it.  Whatever it may bring you..just know that you will get through it too.
    Much love and Hugs <3 and a Happy Happy New Year!!!

From This Moment On.....

    How to start this blog.....Hmmmmm
As I am sitting here at the library waiting for the time to pass until it is time to pick up my kids, it gives me LOTS of time to think. You know it is gonna be 17 years this December that Me and Robbie have been together. That's more than most people stay married, sad but true. I am not bragging in a any sense, but shouldn't I be allowed that? I think so....The fact that I found My one true Love, Best friend and someone who loves me for me and would NEVER want to change anything about me. He knows what to say without even talking, he knows that just a simple touch of his hand can say a thousand words. We have our ups and downs, but that is part of life. The way you handle these ups and downs is the key. We have never called each other bad things or talked down to each other either...I know he can drive me BONKERS just as much as I can drive him BONKERS, but I feel everything in this life is a learning experience. We have grown with each other and have NEVER felt that we are loosing ourselves in that process.
    I knew from the first day that I went to his house that I wanted to be with him...share my inner most moments with. I knew I wanted him to be the one that I laughed and cried with...how did I know this at 16?...he made it that easy. He had a sweetness that most 16 year olds didn't.
    Fast forward to June 1998, when I found out I was pregnant...I don't know if I could have been happier...March 6th, 1999 our baby boy was born and here ya go....I was even happier. He was simple Beauty. Being able to create a little person with the man you love the most....to me is the greatest gift.
    May 26th, 2001.....the Day we got married, I can't tell you how many times I cried out of pure happiness, anyone who was their could tell you though. I think I may have been radiating in happiness.
    January 2002 was very very hard. My Aunt who raised me from the time I was 8 passed away. When i came home from the hospital I was a Zombie...that day passed with a blur. Robbie was there of course to comfort me and little Noah, they are all that I wanted. That March we found out I was pregnant again.
December 13th, 2002 our second little man was born. My two boys:)
    Now I know kids are not for everybody and I respect that, but.........Man are you missing out. These little beings are Mini " YOU'S ". Like my quote in my bathroom....."Children are a story yet to be told". My boys are my GREATEST creation and accomplishment. In no way am I a perfect parent, but I am gonna try my Damnedest. These little faces look to you for everything and sometimes we just don't have the answers, but you know what I will search until I find one.
    I know a lot of my blogs have been about Aiden's stuff going on, but that is a VERY big thing right now in our lives. My three boys are my life.  If I didn't have the love at home from my Husband I am sure it would have been wayyyyy more difficult to deal with. I also have Amazing Family and Friends <3.
    So when life throws you hard balls, you need to just hit them out of the field. By me saying this I don't want you to think everything is hunky dorey.....all of this with Aiden has been very heart wrenching, I feel like I could cry at any moment sometimes for the smallest of things. I get told a lot how strong I am, but sometimes I don't feel strong and I don't want to feel strong, I just want a good cry damn it! Even though with all this that is going on I have had some AWESOME  belly laughs...anyone that knows me...knows I LOVE to laugh.
    Back to the point of this blog.....My love for Robbie: these are my descriptions
  
    1. Best Friend
    2. Daddy
    3. Husband
    4. Brother
    5. Lover
    6. Hilarious...at least to me
    7. Honest
    8. Giver
    9. Sweet
   10. Quiet
   11. Very Very Friendly
   12. Noble
   13. Generous
   14. Would give the shirt off his back
    This blog is not meant to brag about what I have, but more for the deep..deep love and appreciation I have for my husband.
     If you have not found your ONE....My wish for you is...that you will...everyone deserves this kind of love.
    From This Moment On...I Will Love You <3