Wednesday, March 18, 2015


Do you ever question your purpose in life? Haven't we all at some point? Have you ever had a dream that you just aren't sure where to even begin to get that dream to become a reality?
This.. This right here is where I'm at. Do I have regrets in my life? Absolutely not! I'm in love with where my life is right here right now, but I do question what I questioned above. Will I ever know the answers for sure? Maybe one. I know I need to do some research, but a part of me is scared. Scared of the unknown, scared that I'm gonna call the wrong place, scared I'll trust to easy, scared I'll sound stupid with the questions I'll want to ask.
I'm an over analyzer.
I want to be proud of myself, I want my Duders to be proud of their Mama, I want my family/friends to look at me and say: Damn, she did it!
I often don't feel like the smartest in the room. I sit and wonder what people really think of me. This falls onto me and my self consciousness. Im not as confident as people may think. I only say that because recently  I've been told this by a few people in my life. Maybe it's because I am with a man who loves me for me and let's me express myself the ways that I do.. Tattoos/Red hair and all.
Am I navigating this world being the best ME? I like to believe so, or at least to some extent. I'm still finding Me. I believe we all continue to find ourselves throughout our whole lives. There is so much to learn, so many people to meet that can change us and our opinions on the world. It's growth that I welcome with open arms.
Will we ever really know our purpose? Probably not. So I guess what I can say is: Go out into the world being the best YOU. Open your eyes to all the beauty in this world and try not focusing on all the negative. Listen to the birds songs, sit in the sun and feel the wind on your face, focus on all the colors you see, and smile more.
If you have a dream, go after it!

I know some of the stuff in here may seem random, but it's something that has been weighing heavy on my mind lately.

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